the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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