I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
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his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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