Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize