i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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