One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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