Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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