i think i have herpe
just one?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
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It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
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He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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