I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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