People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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