I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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