kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
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She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
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Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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