I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize