Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize