so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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