I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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