Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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