I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize