I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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