All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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