oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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