I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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