you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize