But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
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Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
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I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize