Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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