I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
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He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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