brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She told me I should be a condom model.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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