I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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