YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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