i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize