Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
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I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
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our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize