I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
If I had your ass I would rule the world
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize