Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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