I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
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