remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize