Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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