Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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