My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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