Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Your topless pictures make me question reality
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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