You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
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I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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