so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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