im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
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