His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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