i think my tv is drunk
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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