were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize