I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize