We're like a lot better than the average bears
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
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