And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
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he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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