if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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