Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
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