So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize